Lara's Story

When Lara looks back on the final years with her dad, Neil, she doesn’t just think about illness she remembers love, laughter and precious time together as a family.

Neil passed away at home in November 2023, surrounded by those closest to him, after living with cancer for four years. His daughter Lara reflects on how hospice care made it possible for them to create meaningful memories right up until his final days.

A Life Full of Family, Service and Joy

Neil was a devoted family man who found happiness in the simple things, family holidays, shared moments at home, and even his passion for Lego. Alongside this, he spent more than 25 years serving his community as a police officer.

In March 2019, everything changed when Neil was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer. He faced his diagnosis with determination, undergoing major surgeries and treatments. For a time, things improved, and he entered remission.

During this period, Neil continued to support causes close to his heart, even fundraising for hospice care, something his family would later realise would become so important in their own lives.

More Time Than Expected

In 2020, the cancer returned, spreading to his liver and beyond. At one stage, the family were told they might only have three months left with him.

“We were preparing for the worst,” Lara explains, “but we actually had four more years together.”

Those extra years were filled with time to connect, support one another, and make lasting memories, something the family will always be grateful for.

Choosing Comfort and Quality of Life

In the later stages of his illness, Neil made the brave decision to stop treatment and focus on quality time with his loved ones.

“It became about making his remaining time as special as possible,” says Lara.

During this time, hospice support became invaluable. Neil visited the hospice several times for symptom control and respite care, where both he and his family felt truly looked after.

Bringing Comfort and Normality

One of the most meaningful aspects of hospice care was how it helped maintain a sense of normality.

“It didn’t feel clinical, it felt warm and personal,” Lara recalls. “Even our dog Maddie could visit. Having her there, curled up on the bed, meant everything. It felt like we had brought a little piece of home with us.”

For the family, these moments reinforced that Neil was receiving not just care, but genuine compassion.

Support at Home When It Mattered Most

Neil had one clear wish, to be at home when the time came.

With the help of the Hospice at Home team, that wish became possible. They ensured everything was in place quickly, from specialised equipment to expert guidance for the family.

“The support was incredible,” Lara says. “They helped us understand what to expect and made sure Dad was comfortable at all times.”

Pain management was a key part of that care, allowing Neil to remain peaceful and free from distress.

“As a family, it meant so much to see him comfortable,” Lara adds. “They did everything they could for him.”

Changing Perceptions of Hospice Care

Neil died at home, surrounded by his family, just as he had wanted.

Looking back, Lara hopes more people understand what hospice care truly offers.

“Many people think hospices are only for end-of-life,” she says. “But Dad had several visits where the focus was on support, symptom control and giving us more time together. It’s about living, not just dying.”

A Message to Others

Lara believes her family’s experience would have been very different without hospice care and encourages others to support these vital services.

“We couldn’t imagine going through it without them,” she says. “Now is the time to help other families receive the same care and compassion, because every moment really does matter.”